Good improvement well done.
Busting at the seams with stories there is almost too much going on – volume of stuff is very good. Quality of stories pretty good too.
Remember that the time should not be filled in, the time should be quality; every second should hold the attention of the viewer.
Not a story there to spike in the bulletin – none that Angus wouldn’t run.
Tate looks comfortable in studio but needs to find light and shade in the script i.e distinguish between puppy farm murders and an and finally story. Balance is needed in the heads, work on writing in terms of length of each head. Teasing is the only reason for heads to make people watch the show. Jacqueline head is too wordy.
Puppy farm: dispute over whether this is breaking news, is a court case ever really breaking? Tom turned around old pics and freshened it up. Kept going for phone call – most emotive stuff. Visually and orally really strong piece. Well rounded. Shows what we can do, can have a quick turnaround. Good use of archive. More credibility and beef in a package than a newsroom OB, worked better. Explain a bit more before going straight into the phone call? Tate needed more help on the link. Inflammatory language not comment in script – dramatising what it is, no legal trouble, just not formulaic police piece
Immigration street: voice is excellent, think about language ie committees, fantastic grab, safety is most important thing, maybe expo in package because it could look like nobody lives on street?
CUTS: device where two stories are similar x will tell us this story in a moment but first x tells us this.
Lauren: nice PTC, well told, punch, well rounded good interviews, two PTCs? GV pan cutaway is a no – cover with frontline services. Dry stories unless you get people
Hattie: marantz didn’t work, DSLR camera sound not good enough, tighten shot shove gun mic in face, looks like same shot be sure to have a variety, play it back and if bad do it again, never say I spoke to
Lloyds bank: where’s the local angle? Winchester high street. What’s the local angle? Very wooly. Repetition at start. Don’t need to be with autocue the whole time
Flood: nice link. Put a date on archive not WINOL archive, standard phone interview template, well rounded package, singy voice, mention name and see face
Dangerous drivers: didn’t understand the figures, bit more expo in terms of graphics, overlay pics for interview have the sound underlaying don’t mute, bit like a public information film
Link to housing was too short. Read to graphic don’t just use them to fill space
OOV: Chris Huhne cut too long, naked rambler fine good sensor
When directing say out words when VT has rolled – team can react accordingly, not just reliant on the countdown
Skateboarders: bit too short link, good PTC should have been some voiceover, update it – english heritage story etc. Don’t end with a grab then SOQ – lazy end
Drew: be a bit happier. It’s football. Zoom in on aggro at Totton, needs to be shot tighter, script was good not saying what you see, big up two players being sent off. Tough mudder – all pictures are brilliant – visually outstanding, so engaging, really well explained, make it bigger in world, BANG, great grabs. Goal of the month – liked it, commentary not so much, like tease of it, driving viewers to go to other website, really good idea. Vote or celeb
Jacqueline Wilson – just a grab, good, heads, sell her as much as possible
Features package needs to be a bit more sexier, pace needs to be snappier, sell it! Throw tricks and toys at it. Got to have your best pics and grabs. Pump some music into it
John Denham undersold?? Running order potentially wrong we own immigration street, news belt pushed higher changes pace of bulletin
Bracken’s PTC good and told something interesting
Councillor Caroline Dibden interview nigh on perfect, framing, sound, depth of field, tight
Get someone else to voice statements
Go pro skateboard – do it yourself
Sound on Jacqueline Wilson isn’t quite right
Brooke good craft – lack of pictures this is how you do it
Text stories – PEOPLE
megrosefisher 